In real life

To start off this post, I state that I love being myself, and I love living in the real world, just so that we're clear on that.

I do however enjoy being able to imagine myself being someone else, or living in another world. I cherish my own ability to lose myself in what I do, especially when it involves fighting supernatural beings, exploring awe-inspiring worlds and socializing with a bunch of others doing what I'm doing; having fun in whole other universe.

I don't really get those who like living in their own imaginary world, as I myself find it kind of lonely and boring, but once others take part in the same world as I do, the fun begins.

Nerd on.

This picture is from a South Park episode, where they discovered Imagination land, where everything we have ever imagined lives. There are of course two separate parts of the land, one where the good ones live and one where the horrible and evil imaginations live. Since this is a South Park episode, naturally everything goes to hell and it's a total chaos, but I still like their idea of all our ideas and everything we imagine ending up in a place. Lucky me some genius guys manage to put their own ideas into a world of their own, open for everyone to enter. I am of course referring to fantasy games, and boy are there loads of them.

My favorite kinds are the roleplaying games (RPG), either it's a mass-multiplayer-online roleplaying game (MMORPG), or a single-player one doesn't matter, as long as I get to make my own character and have a say as to how this character develops and how the story plays out.

The first RPG I ever played was Final Fantasy VII, which was a groundbreaking game with revolutionizing new gameplay and truly awe-inspiring graphics (as of the current standard at the given time), which I of course was utterly and completely oblivious about as I was merely 10 years old and had no games to compare it to whatsoever. I enjoyed the game nonetheless and was forever made a Final Fantasy fan/freak. I say freak because I've been addicted to the following games in the franchise, the VIII through XII, even acquiring and completing the older original ones. When I say addicted, I mean it in a good way, but I was slaving in front of the TV, Playstation remote in hand, for several hundred hours (it's true) per game, completely maxing them out. A feat I'm proud of still, as of this day.

My all time favorite game will for ever be Final Fantasy IX, which is portrayed bellow, a game I have maxed out over and over again, literally wearing out and ruining the CDs. Ashamed of not having the single most loved game in my collection anymore I was eventually forced to yet again acquire this game. It was two gaming-console generations after, so I had to buy it from a foreign internet-dealer, specializing in selling really old games for a harsh price. But it was totally worth it.

If you manage to guess which is my hero, I'll give you a special gift. (The name of the character and correct reason why he's my hero is required)

My second big time-consuming RPG was World of Warcraft, which I started playing at the age of 15, with several friends. This was the first MMORPG I tried and thus fell in love with, as it was, quite simply, so freakin' huge and overwhelming. It lets you create your own character, both looking and fighting the way you want, and once you're in the game you're free to be any kind of person you'd like, as nobody really knows who you are. I guess this is what some find so fascinating, that they're seen in a whole new light, maybe even worshipped for their feats in-game.

World of Warcraft a kind of game one can't complete nor max, and as this was what I was used to doing, I ended up spending a whole lot of time and effort, never to reach any specific goal. I wouldn't say it's a time-waster though, as it was one of the most social games I ever played, teaming up with a lot of friends online, with headsets and everything, laughing and joking our way thought the night, in our separate universe.

I know most people think of these games as a problem as so many kids sit alone in their house, playing all day, but the fact is that most of those kids have fun doing what they're doing, and they are being social, only in a different way, and in another world one might say. Just because you might not understand it doesn't mean it's wrong. Most kids sit inside doing nothing all day anyways, so why not do nothing with some friends online?

To continue, it was never a perfect game in any way, but it opened the door to more roleplaying, in different ways than I'd experienced before.

Some of Azeroth's heroes, ready to kick some ass in Scarlet Monastery.

As WoW is an MMORPG, it's continuously updated and expanded, offering new challenges and goals, so it's not unlikely that I take another peek at it once every now and then to see what's new, but I have at least, the last couple of years been able to let go of it and discovered new games, focusing on how the creators have shaped their world and how the different aspects of the games play out. It's to me an art-form which I find myself spending hours and hours to truly understand and experience, and once I'm either fed up or sufficiently pleased, I move on to the next game.

The most beautiful and well-designed game I've tried recently is the MMORPG Aion, which is portrayed bellow, with one of it's marvelous characters, wings spread and pure awesomeness overflowing. Man I love being a geek.

The average guy on the street wouldn't share my passion for these things, but I know most people like to play around and use their imagination in one way or another.

A new way to do just that was presented to me some while ago, and it's a card game named Munchkin. I would frown you to death if you honestly didn't liking this game. It's hilarious and probably the most social game I've ever played. The humor of the game was above my expectations, and I still laugh out loud every now and then when I discover new cards.

My conclusion on the matter of roleplaying and other worlds and all that is that it's good for all of us to step out of our own shoes once in a while, and just play. Play with your friends, with your family or even on your own. Just have some fun.

Bad stuff: You are dead.

I could kill

Some people piss me off. Ignorant of the fact, that they are ruining my day.

It's like having someone poke you with a stick in the.. anywhere really, as getting poked with a stick is freakin annoying either way, and I'm unable to do anything about it as I'm bound to the one doing the poking in a situation where neither can leave.

The one doing the poking, whom I will henceforth refer to as the gimp, is one of those persons who thinks highly enough of themselves to interrupt others mid-sentence, thinking their addition to the conversation is notably better than whatever the rest of the sentence would be. They are however, not the kind of people where that actually would be the fact. The self-overrated addition they shove in there is nothing more than a sheer annoyance for most others taking part of the conversation, as it most often either is a form of repeating what was already stated or simply irrelevant. It is however not frowned upon by many others as they're all in the same situation as me; unable to leave.

The gimp is revealed once it fails to understand a given situation and it's role in that situation. This will most often occur in a way similar to what I explained earlier, where someone is either broken off mid-sentence or where a comment or an act is made with zero relevance to the situation.

Once revealed, the gimp goes about it's business, continuously failing, either it is at delivering a joke, a punchline, a burn or even a simple comment. The entirety of the gimps existence is practically equivalent to the definition of annoyance.

1. The act of annoying or the state of being annoyed.

2. A cause of irritation or vexation; a nuisance.

I find it the 2nd point is especially fitting, as it quite accurately describes how I experience the gimp. Yet it doesn't point out exactly why it's irritating. I figure I have a certain standard for people. And when people prove to be less than they in my opinion should be, then I find it they've simply failed to evolve, and thus fail to amaze.

You won't get on my bad side unless you annoy me, but neither will you get on my good side unless you amaze me, it's as easy as that.

My mind likes to wander

It forms the next in line thought before I arrive there, so that it will be ready for me, and it is usually an advantage, but it does make it hard to stop sometimes.

I wish I could at least have a say in where it's heading, but I don't.

It's one thing when you're all alone with your thoughts and it's off on it's own, but when you're in a situation where your thoughts become your words in an instant, and those words are directed at a certain someone, it's a different story.

In most situations one would prefer to control the words spoken as to control the outcome of the conversation, especially if the conversation is turning into a fight. However, a mind going about as it sees fit could also conjure pleasant outcomes. Outcomes one otherwise wouldn't have dared to aim for, and most often in situations where one doesn't feel at ease.

Over-thinking comments, situations, incidents and surroundings rarely lead to any good, so why not let the mind work on it's own premises once in a while?

Personally I rarely find myself in a situation where my mind gets me into trouble, and it rarely puts me in places I find myself surprised to be, however, it does like messing with me by putting random pictures and ideas into my line of thought when I'm trying to concentrate. I guess this could be called a normal sense of disturbance or even the urges of an imposed need for mainstream entertainment.

Lately I've observed countless incidents where this urge has won the battle and with it the control of the mind, shutting down all focus on the task that was at hand. It annoys me that fewer and fewer seem to master the skill of concentration and thus the ability to be at their best at their own cue. To succumb to the minds own will, only to be able to contemplate wonders and topics outside the medias attention for a maximum of mere minutes, before seemingly loosing interest.

The interest isn't lost, it's simply concealed by the aforementioned urge. Once one manages to avoid giving in to the urge, one will find the interest for the topic is refreshed and the concentration is yet intact. The ability to maintain one's concentration will on the other hand subside by time, resulting in some sort of break.

This, however, is only healthy, and most welcome as one in general feels refreshed afterwards, ready for a new go at the topic.

Don't stop building

Earlier I wrote about a grand puzzle that most people fail to, or neglect to build, rather focusing on their own smaller puzzle, which includes only themselves and those they care about. However, I didn’t account for the event of pieces gone missing. What if parts of the puzzle would be to perish? What if we lose someone? Will the void in our puzzle be filled by other pieces or will it remain forever?

I see no way for anyone to fill in the very same pieces I find my friends filling in. The gratitude and affection I feel towards them is beyond comparison to anything or anyone else, and if I would be so damned as to lose any of them, I would never, and I mean never be able to fill that void.

When I meet new people, they come with new pieces for my puzzle. Those pieces are neither stacked on top of the others nor are they put in their place, they are placed around the edges, not meaning they are in any way less appreciated, only that they will for ever have their unique place, and thus expanding the entire puzzle.

The more important the persons role is in my life, the more pieces they bring, and the bigger their part of the puzzle is. The ones who take up most of my puzzle have pieces representing everything I know about them; their ability to make me smile just by thinking about them (I'm even smiling as I'm writing this), their ability to make me laugh just by giving a certain look or the tiniest comment (or by going way, way, way, waaay too far with a joke, which often results in only the two of us laughing like hell and the rest thinking "what the fuck?").

Other big parts would represent how I feel safe and at home no matter where we're at and what we're doing, just because I know exactly who it is that's sitting next to me, and that you know exactly who I am as well. Or how I know I can rely on you no matter what I do, and no matter what happens to me, because you would walk through fire (yes, walk, not run, that's how tough you are) and fight anyone, even though they're flying like butterflies and stinging like bees, just to save me.

I come to think that having someone so important in your life is quite dangerous in a way. That if the person would be to disappear from your life and seemingly destroy your puzzle, you'd have no way of rebuilding it. But I can't fight the feeling, or even the fact that having a grand puzzle for as long as you possibly can and maybe one day losing parts, if not all of it, still beats never having one at all. And if I so were to get some voids in it, then I hope I'll manage to build the puzzle larger, so that the voids will seem smaller and less significant than they were at their origin. Yet the voids will always be there, because no one, and I mean no one will be able to fill in your pieces.

Change of perspective

Do I waste away the day when I sleep late, or do I waste away the night when I don't?

Staying sharp

This guy has figured it out.
Making sure the play is his to win even before he starts playing.
But of course this fellow has a bit more to him than just playing them cards right, so enough about him.

We can't all be superheroes, but we can at least get better at playing them cards of ours; what to say and do when and where is key.

I'm often taken aback by the way people act without thought. Not to think before one acts is basically equivalent of acting like an animal.


René Descartes; "Cogito ergo sum" or "I think, therefore I am"


Not to think is simply unthinkable. Surely many would quite ironically think of this as an attack on spontaneity, but even a spontaneous act is performed with some reasoning as foundation, however brief it is.

An action performed without any thought or reflection is to me like gambling. You don't know what exactly you're throwing out there and you have no idea what you're gonna get back.
I don't like gambling. I like control. I like playing with a set of rules and boundaries, so that I can understand and predict others' actions and vice versa. The more I think before I act, the fewer surprises all around. We would never get to know one another if we constantly acted without thinking, because there would be nothing left to separate you from the next guy.


"Your actions define you as a person" - This is true, only if you think before you act.

"Your actions define you as an animal" - This is true, only if you don't.


Personally I want to be as much like Gambit as possible. Fictively I'd love to be like him in every way, but realistically I would at least want that ability of his; to be able to play my best cards at all given times and still have an ace up my sleeve.

Distinctions - The whatnow behind the internal joke

Internal jokes are often thought of as evil jokes meant to exclude others. The ones who feel this the most are those who are not a part of the group the internal joke is laughed at in the first place. They feel they're being shown where the door is and getting hints and looks as to how it's supposed to be opened and how one is supposed to leave the room, or in this instance, the conversation.

I don't think internal jokes are evil at all. I generally think it's exciting to watch as others laugh at something seemingly meaningless or even nonexistent, and I find this exciting because it means they're seeing something I'm not. And I want to see it too.

You see, we all have our different distinctions, it's how we differ from one another and it's how we tell our friends and acquaintances apart. Now, what's interesting is how friends tend to develop certain distinctions in harmony, and thus joke about them, yes, you got it, this is what an internal joke is, a joke based on something small and most often odd that two or more friends have in common, there, I even explained it further.

I find that internal jokes are a very basic part of ones personality, and that one is dependent on it, and other things of course, to be happy and to.. glow.. yes, to glow. We all like glowing, don't we? It's equivalent to being very very happy, basically. I don't see why someone would rather throw a blanket over a glowing bunch of people instead of simply enjoying their good mood and thus good company. You do know good mood is contagious, right?