Open minded

James Jean - Hive

Being open minded is not innate in me, it is something I have to work on and force out. It is rather natural to behave, act and think in a similar fashion every day, as I have general models to follow in almost any context, and because I'm both familiar with the execution of these models as well as their repercussions. Autopilot is mostly engaged, and I find that trailing along blindly generally leaves me content and filled with a common handful of experiences. But then there is this other ability that is innate; curiosity. Curiosity is one of my most rewarding traits, as it gives me the courage to master challenges, to best my fears and to overcome obstacles. Curiosity has taught me to think positively, as it has time and again proven that there are multiple ways one can go, several right answers to any riddle and a way out of almost any situation. You don't even have to know where to look, you simply have to remember that you can look for an alternative, and it will often present itself.

Curiosity lets me break out of habits and out of my own way of being. Without it, I wouldn't have tried new food, finding flavors I never knew I'd love. I wouldn't have checked out new music, finding genres I never knew could make me dance the way they do. I wouldn't have experimented with a behavioral variety towards new people, finding out how I best enjoy myself and in what company and context I feel serenity, exhilaration, annoyance, carelessness or excitement. Being curious is to me all about discovering new sides to myself and daring to embrace them, if only for a second, to know how it feels and to understand the possibility of this being a natural part of me. Truthfully, you can only have a hunch about whether or not you'll like something until you actually try it. Only then will you know if it is for you or not, and so you don't really have a choice in the matter, other than to go for it and hope for the best. Worst thing that can happen is that you have a bad experience, but even then I find it to be worth it as I can be honest in saying I know that this in particular is not for me, at least not in this given context.

Where it gets complicated is when there are other emotions in the equation, other than the fear of simply not liking the experience at hand. Getting stung on a personal level is probably the biggest qualm for most of us, and I find this to be the toughest bubble to burst with curiosity alone. Exposing a desire to befriend someone or to reveal certain emotions towards a person can be daunting at best, as it is required that the feelings are mutual for them to prosper. This is by far the most exciting form of curiosity; that which is focused on an individual. Simply because nothing ever gets more complex and interesting than the entirety of a person, and you get to discover whether this certain kind of person is a good fit for you, and maybe even understand why or why not. The problem with such curiosity is the fear of losing the opportunity to discover what this person is all about, as an aggressive or even a passive approach could turn people away. How you should go about to sate your curiosity will have to differ based on any number of factors, ranging from your given relationship, your genders, your common network and naturally, both your personalities. And then things get really complicated, seeing as you know very little about each other in the first place, so you have to figure out your possible paths and at the same time decide upon one. Social interaction has never been so challenging as when you've got something to lose.

Compared to any other form of curiosity, the situation changes instantly once another person is added to the equation. I cannot simply decide to discover what this potential relationship will hold for me, without considering the ramifications of my actions on this person's life. And what when this person is linked to me in more ways than one? The network of people connected to the situation is often complex, and so you have more factors weighing in. What if my curiosity leads to the discomfort of others than the two of us? My relationship to a person is always somewhat made up of the network of people surrounding us and our individual relationships to each part of the network. The best example of this that I can think of is probably the most common one as well: your friend's girlfriend or boyfriend is always going to be off limits. You cannot simply let your curiosity dictate your actions, because you should respect the connection both of you have to your friend. Sometimes, however, people do find each other despite these obstacles, but then they often do that at the price of losing something. In this instance, it could lead to the loss of said friend, unless he is a character somewhat out of the ordinary. The point is, the more people that are involved and the more complex their relationships are, the more I got to consider, once I'm feeling curious.

I feel that fear of being inconsiderate is one of the few legitimate reasons for denying one's curiosity, seeing as fear of rejection, failure or injury is personal and most often something you can learn to control. Focusing on letting go of my personal qualms is a good start at least, and working on it I've found that people respond with a different energy once I focus on being open minded. Good energy has surrounded me for several weeks now, and I'm starting to think that we respond with this energy automatically when met with an energy of genuine and unrestrained interest and curiosity. Curiosity will eventually bring out every part of you, thus also the best ones, and it seems it also gives you an aura that brings out the best of everyone around you. Your ability to embrace your possibilities is at least an encouragement for those around you to do the same, or at least to embrace their own curiosity.

If they dare to force it out, I believe their personality will bloom, and that they will find tranquility. My mind is as open as ever, and I'm at least feeling quite tranquil these days.
But maybe that's just me.

Warmth

Inside this head of mine, I tend to reconfigure my view on life every now and again. I mostly do this for a limited time, enabling me to understand that which I'd otherwise be blind to see. Or simply to enhance my own ability to comprehend that which I feel. Finding new ways to explain ideas is helpful in truly understanding them, and I find that a lot of answers can be found by delving within oneself, as well as a lot of questions. Lately I've been finding several questions without apparent answers. I've been wondering where to look, where to direct my intentions, how to act and what to want. Who I want to be and how I want to get there. That would pretty much be the gist of it. And so, finding only questions and none of the related answers, I add a filter, hoping it will reveal the answer I am looking for.

Try to see life as nothing but colors, shades and nuances. Every emotion, every action and everything else can be given a color, a shade, a nuance. Seeing life this way helps you define what is what, how things affects you, how people affect you, what's important to you and what's hurtful. In order to fully appreciate the benefits of seeing the world through such a filter, you must first understand your relationship to colors. Another filter might work better for you, but I myself find colors to be fitting, as I have a conscious relationship to their effects on me, and also because colors, shades and nuances can be related to several deeper meanings. Even so, colors are a lot simpler to interpret and understand than the complete complexities of life.

Tinman's Lament - Dan May

Colors are for me divided between two poles; one warm, one cold. The cold side of the spectre gives you safety in lack of exposure, tranquility in lack of exaltation and serenity in lack of disappointment. The way I see it, living a life filled with cold colors will leave you content, yet unconsciously exasperated. I want warmth, and here's why:

Warm colors give me joy.

Orange is the color of happiness. It's the color of carelessness, fun and foolishness. It is perhaps my favorite color of all, being carefree in it's entirety. Orange is never serious, it is a late night laughing at dark humor carelessly enjoyed in the company of one's closest friends, it is my euphoria. Orange is smiling for the sake of smiling, laughing without constriction and hugging for the sake of holding someone close, not caring what onlookers might think. Orange is what I want everything I feel to be based upon, how I picture my Utopia unfurled.

She Entwined - Audrey Kawasaki

Red is the deepening of Orange. It is intensity, it is lust, it is passion and it is love. Red is not careless, but neither is it careful. Red is rather reckless and hopeless, driving me to excitement and exaltation both, although forever risking the staggering drop into the deep Blue. Red brings me to the very brink of life, overwhelming all other colors. It is by far the least stable of the colors, but also the most rewarding. When I sense Red in others, it warms me to the core, spreading joy and serenity throughout my bones. I think we desperately need to improve our ability to feel and project Red in our lives here in Norway. We're a cold people, not because we lack big hearts, but because they are walled up inside layers of purple and blue; colors that limits us to jealousy, disdain and discomfort. And I don't take kindly to folks who don't take kindly around here.

Chance Meeting Forest Monsters - Andy Kehoe

Earthly colors give me purpose.

They are the deepest of the warm, the ones close to nature. Brown and Burgundy fill me with commitment of different sorts. Brown fills me with homebound affection, reminding me of my roots and that I have a caring family. Brown is my commitment to give others this feeling of safety I myself embrace. Brown is calm and trustworthy, a feeling of companionship and an invitation to familiar bonds beyond hello. Brown is the wellbeing I feel when caring for a friend or a colleague.

Burgundy is an adaptation of Red, one that holds a lot of Brown. Burgundy is safety and compassion in one. Not often do I feel the force of Burgundy protrude, but when I do, it is as overwhelming as the strongest desires I've ever felt. Burgundy can break out tears and fills me with a profound sense of living. Truly acknowledging and accepting someone outside your family takes a lot of trust. It is simply hard to fully open up to someone, and I believe most of us rarely do. Burgundy is the feeling of acceptance. Burgundy is Red without the antagonizing Blue; the intensity and love without fear of rejection or judgement. Burgundy is accepting the fact that I love a friend like my brother, and the realization that I'm not ashamed of admitting it. I guess Burgundy is my favorite color.

I strongly desire a life filled with warmth. The question is how to get out of the cold.

Back in the days we...

Seriously, gamers need to realized they've grown the fuck up.

How often do you see people judging new games arguing that it isn't like the original, which they played for years and never stopped loving? How often is a sequel compared to the original in a fair way? Had the original and the sequel been released at the same time, the sequel would undoubtedly have been superior considering graphics and technology, but lets say we focus on the feel of the game and the visual appearance it projects, rather than the mechanics and how realistic it looks. And lets say you're 15. Yep, that's right, you probably were 15 back in the days of the original game, and you probably didn't have much else going on in your life, so it was pretty much your sole purpose back then. Did you consider that when you dropped bombs on the sequel ten years later? Don't think you did, no.

The thing is, the game isn't worse than the original because you're unable to devote your entire life to it today, it's rather you that today are unable to devote your entire life to a game, because you're ten years older. Life has changed you, made you aware of what you like and what you spend time on. You have standards based on your past experiences, and you expect new entries in your life to at least live up to said standards, and preferably surpass them. The ability to keep you enticed for weeks or years is not even remotely relevant for new games, because it's quite simply impossible. The new games aren't worse than the originals, they're actually loads better in most cases. Perfection is the new standard. Perfect gameplay, perfect visual appearance, perfect characters and perfect storyline. Not always successfully perfect, but the aspiration is at least present during development.

If you find something, anything, at the age of 20 or older, that continually impresses you and keeps you entertained and delighted for several hours, or even days or weeks, you should be in awe. You should seriously be in freakin' awe of this product that continues to meet your expectations and further on surpasses them. This is a simple product that is shifting your standards to a new best and making it harder for following entries to even please you, so enjoy it while you can and give the creators due respect. You simply cannot rate a game down, saying that it was superb for two weeks, and then lost you. The game was superb for two weeks. End of story. You loved it. For two entire weeks! Maybe you didn't end up playing it for years and years, but several might, and some definitely will. You've just grown up, and so you have to face the fact that you're gonna have to buy a new game every other week if you want to keep on being amazed. Besides, it's not like any of the old favorites kept on amazing you throughout the years. It was simply you who didn't expect, nor required it to. You were content with what you had. Then you desired more. And now, more still. And a top quality new release only has about two weeks full of amazement. After that, only the content will keep at it for years.

We don't like being content, we like being amazed. But it's about time we realize we can't be forever amazed by one single phenomenon or product. Be grateful of what you can get and give due recognition and respect.

10/10 for being amazing. And that's that.

Uneducation fosters misled dedication and mass frustration

Shackle Me Not - Jeff Soto

Delving further into how life is laid down on paths to follow, a central topic is how it is natural for society to shape the general outcome of available paths for each and every individual. Your path might be unique in it's entirety, but it will most often lead you in the same general direction as everyone else. You'll wobble through life, clinging to your own perception of reality, shaped and molded by your upbringing and inherent ability to apprehend the complexities of life, and you'll bear with you this truth about life until you die. Your general and specific ideas and convictions about life and the processes therein will define how you perceive yourself, as you measure yourself by these standards. The problem with this is the fact that your self-evaluation is based on your self-insight, and your self-insight is based on your ability to compare yourself to your perception of reality, and this perception is often flawed, to put it gently.

The truth is, many children get raised to believe dangerous misconceptions. The societies they're brought up in have been shaped by past generations' lack of knowledge combined with an innate lust for explanations, thus resulting in improvised truths that befit their reality as they perceive it. This should be a natural ongoing procedure that continues to evolve as you continue to live, making you hungrier for knowledge the more of it you get. Alas, most do not have the time nor the luxury to reflect upon everything or anything they know, and so they accept that the truth they know is as good as any, and so they pass these misconceptions on to the next generation, and so on. A vicious circle has been established, and people suffer and die, caught up in it, every day.

Conrad Bizjak

Life is a riddle, sure. I just wish more people would get at solving it their own way instead of following the bad advice of their society. The thing is, a misconceived reality will lead you nowhere safe. Thinking you have to obey certain nonexistent rules to obtain certain goals that you find important because society makes them seem like worthy achievements in life, wont necessarily get you there. Obtaining said goals would probably make you happy, because happiness is a feeling based on your perception, and so you would likely feel proud and joyful for accomplishing these achievements. The problem however lies in the misconceptions of getting there. Not all goals are attainable by the means that seem most obvious. You cannot become a famous rapper simply by playing at being a gangster and hope to survive the shootouts, and you cannot win a marathon simply by starving yourself skinny. Looks can be deceiving, and lack of knowledge can be dangerous. There is never a simple answer, everything is complex. The main reason people give up their dreams is the sudden realisation that getting there will require work. Actual work. You have to educate yourself on the topic of the dream, in order to obtain it. Misinformation will lead you astray on a misdirected path that will probably lead you nowhere good. Uneducation fosters misled dedication and mass frustration. And the problem is that being too bad at something denies you the ability to accurately judge your abilities in relevance to the norm. You simply have too narrow a perception of the issue to be able to comprehend the fact that you simply suck at it. You judge yourself to be average or often a bit above average, yet you're truthfully in the bottom 15 percentage.

Apply this to anything. Driving. You think yourself good, probably as good, or even better than most other drivers out there.  Fair enough, maybe you are. Cooking. You think yourself good, or even better than most other people out there, because you know that one special recipe and them secrets your mom told you. Fair enough, maybe you are and maybe you do. The problem is, if you're thinking "yes, I probably am as good or better", but you lack the reasons as to why you are, then you are, get this, not very good at all. Embrace the fact and educate yourself. If you could be better at something, anything, why not aim for that? Why accept mediocrity, inexperience and ignorance? Why not be the best you've ever been at everything you've ever done and ever will do? We are the pinacle of evolution and still have unheard of potential. We shouldn't all reach for the stars, but we should all start looking up and out, out of our enclosed tunnels. The more you learn, the more you realize you've got left to learn, but don't let it dishearten you. Your perception of the complete amount of knowledge you comprehend is a relative number derived from your perception of knowledge left unknown. And so, the more you learn, the less you will know. Relatively. It's a god damned paradox, but it's one we'll have to live with, because ignorance might be bliss, but it sure as hell is dull and dangerous as well.

Eyes Wide Shut - Luke Chueh

Knowledge can feel like a burden to hold, a duty to share, and a privilege to obtain. You decide what knowledge means to you, and how to approach it. But I beg of you to start thinking along the lines of "What if I'm wrong? Could there be another answer? Could I be better?". You'd be amazed by the amounts of answers the world has to offer, and I guarantee that you'll be left a more tolerating and considerate person.

Put your thinking cap on.

And don't ever take it off.

Determination or Predetermination

Sensual gravity has me spinning. There was a disturbance in The Force, and now I'm reeling out towards The Beyonds. The Beyonds I once found familiar and heartening, uplifting and even fascinating. I have been located at The Center Core for a long time now, sheltered from and unaware of the possibilities of The Beyonds. It's challenging and a bit overwhelming to apprehend the vastness of opportunities, the surreal amount of paths to explore. Spinning towards several directions simultaneously, as if suddenly bestowed upon the gift of inter-dimensional travel as well as a keen sense of exploiting opportune moments. I get a feeling of being in control, yet lost to the will of the world. On edge, yet on track. Or maybe tracks.

Wrap your head around this: From the very second you're born, your life is nothing but a tangle of opportunities. The resulting you that's sitting there is the culmination of chance, the winning streak of random events throughout an eternal chain of eventualities. You just happened to be. The you that is sitting there wouldn't be the same if that one teacher in first grade had been of the opposite sex, because you would've been influenced differently, maybe minimally, though differently still, possibly just enough to affect your perspective on certain matters, later on changing the outcome of your entire life. The point of the theory is, you are who you are because you happen to walk the paths you're set upon. The related questions, however, are boundless: Do you have power over your course or is it already destined by your past experiences? Is it given that you will act a certain way in a certain situation simply because of every single tiny memory you have stored leading up to said situation? Could you react differently than you did, or is it controlled by your nature, your being? Could it be so that we are extremely hard to predict because of our elaborate patterns of behavior, yet actually predictable, once one figures out the connections between past experiences and resulting actions? If so, everything could make sense, anything could be explained, everyone would be interpretable and any sort of behavior could theoretically be abolished.

One side of me craves explanations and understanding. I have this inner drive to observe, interpret and predict behavior, even sometimes to manipulate and construct it. I find it likely for actions to be predictable and influenceable based on the person's character, which again is shaped by his or her past. Different characteristics respond to the same actions differently and even though each individual person has a unique set of memories, most end up within the boundaries of certain archetypical characteristics. By being aware of these and their given pattern of behavior, one can predict or even manipulate their actions by playing out scenarios certain ways, or by enhancing certain aspects of a scenario, such as specific feelings, words and actions. In larger settings with several characteristics involved, the task is graver, requiring one to foretell the behavior of each and every individual as well as how they affect each other. The resulting concoction of chance is immense at the very least, and I daresay most will never even fathom the concept of such trickery, and even fewer will be capable of enabling it. There does, however, seem to be a possibility for lesser minds such as myself, to enable smaller aspects of the theory. Even though I find myself aware of these workings, they still effect me equally to others, and so I presume they're in effect for everyone, no matter how bright they might be. One simply has to take the fact that the subject in question is aware of the matter into consideration, and act accordingly. It would seem there's always a rule to follow and a solution to discover.

The other side of me wants to believe that there are boundless truths being told every second. Everyone has free will and is predisposed to act accordingly. Sometimes there are no reason, there's only chaos. You stay, fate stays, you act, fate changes. Different acts, different results. It seems logic, yet it appears unprovable. The idea is old, the idea of dimensions. A seer, or an oracle if you will, has the ability to see strings through time. They're intertwined and together construct a grand design of infinite possibilities, as one string splits into several new strings every day, dictated by your choice of actions, and thus effecting other strings which again split based on new actions and other individuals' actions. The complexity of the ability should drive a man mad, as he would be able to foretell any eventuality possible for any and every being, yet find himself somewhat helpless in arranging or influencing said eventualities. The trick I reckon, would be to focus on a few given individuals, and grasp the general outlines of their path, as well as the major conjunctions. I believe we're all able to foretell certain outcomes based on actual history or imagined history. Our imagination might be the key to said power, and I like to believe that we're all but ready to enable it.

The competitive side of me likes the idea of free will and alternate dimensions. I'd thus be able to influence my own perceived reality, as I'd be able to control my own actions and life-string in this dimension; making it as I see fit, and hopefully better than the alternate paths. I would beat my other selves and beat life as if it was a game, mastering the eventualities. My goal is keeping an ace up my sleeve at all times, to be one step ahead of current events, foretelling resulting possibilities of given actions and choosing the most favored path towards my desired outcome.

The way I see it, it matters little if it's the one way or the other. I'll probably never know. All I can do is play Life as I see it, with the cards I'm dealt, and hope to be as good at it as the fates will allow me. Whether the decisions I make are mine because of my free will or because of a predetermination of the culminations of my experiences, I will be best served hoping for free will, and warily searching for signs of lack thereof.

I am back out in The Beyonds, and I will bring balance to The Force by creating a new Core Center.

How I fare you'll know next time I zone in.

Or maybe not, who knows?

See me, do you?

You get scared so bad you jump into the guy standing behind you. You did not mean to, of course, but you simply reacted without thinking, so naturally you should not be to blame if he got hurt. Or should you?

Actions can seem controlled by outer forces, alien to ones consciousness. Maybe our subconsciousness is behind it all? Does this mean that blackouts are periods of time when our true self take control, when we act in accord with our true nature; our subconsciousness?

If regarding our consciousness as what makes us human; that which grants us the ability to think, we would have to deem a state of absentmindedness, or a black out if you will, equivalent of a state of feralness, where we're reduced to act on the behest of simple instincts; like an animal.

Such an act, one without reason, is an act of purity; it is neither good nor evil. Nevertheless, we instantly deem those who act rampant and savagely evil and those who contribute to charity good, independent of whatever their intentions were. An act of said nature will most always fall in the aforementioned category in the eyes of the beholders, regardless of the circumstances, because we, the beholders, simplify the world we perceive, making it easier to process. What difference is it to us if the man who ripped that purse from the fleeing old lady and ran off was really getting his wife's purse back from the inconspicuous bag-snatcher? We see a man grabbing hold of a purse held by an old lady, hence he is a criminal.

Shallowness is the price we pay for maintaining a world with such a level of complexity as the one we live in. It is simply too much for our mind to handle, so we place what we see in boxes, and we deal with it accordingly. But when we are challenged on this matter, when the picture we put in a box doesn't fit, when it suddenly dawns on us that our preconceived idea was faulty, we wake up.

Being aware of the shallowness of others, one can quite easily create a simple disguise for oneself, something to hide behind, something to keep others from getting at the real you. This that you show, is not who you are, but who you portray yourself as. It takes a lot of guts to live in the now, and act on the behest of one's inner desires at all times, for one will always be prone to the pointy finger of others, and they will point straight at your very self. Personally I have yet to truly know another as I know myself, and I have yet to let another know me as I do. I can't imagine how wonderful it might be to have such a relationship with someone, where nothing is hidden behind disguising gestures and social norms. I find it being one of my dreams for this life of mine, to be able to trust someone with my entire self, even the darker sides usually hidden inside layers of politeness.

Thanks to Luke Chueh for his wonderful and inspirational artwork

I will shine on your parade

There is an overwhelming pressure to be as is expected, and not as a stranger to the surrounding community. We are taught not to show off, to quietly succeed in averageness, and to live together as equals. This is what is great about our society, for we lift those of less fortune up, but this is also what holds back the gifted and the willing, for they are not allowed to shine.

Live as you wish, think big, and your ideas will be fought at every turn, your ideals questioned, your way of life illuminated, so that the world can see where it casts it's shadows, and judge you for your insolence.

One who shines must cast shadow onto others, that is the idea we swear to, might it be subconsciously for most or not. Our ideal is to communally shine, but the idea undermines the ideal, as we so often fail to behold a group as a community rather than a group of individuals. We see not a joint effort to make it, we see personal goals for personal gain, and so we judge their success as a marking of our lack there of.

One who is high on life and shines his light of well being onto others does not cast a single shade. The sun is not the reason for nightfall, and it is not the reason for darkness. The sun does but one thing, and that is to keep it's fire lit. When a gloomy day is getting at you, you don't blame the sun. One who's got a fire in him should not have to guard it from those afraid of the coldness of their own life. The ones doing this shading are the ones doing the blaming. This blame game is getting old, and I'm tired of being made to feel like I owe someone an apology for getting on with my life. We don't owe each other nothing but respect, and last time I checked, that included approval of different ways of life.

Having each other's back, should not include holding each other back.

Luke Chueh - Swarm