See me, do you?

You get scared so bad you jump into the guy standing behind you. You did not mean to, of course, but you simply reacted without thinking, so naturally you should not be to blame if he got hurt. Or should you?

Actions can seem controlled by outer forces, alien to ones consciousness. Maybe our subconsciousness is behind it all? Does this mean that blackouts are periods of time when our true self take control, when we act in accord with our true nature; our subconsciousness?

If regarding our consciousness as what makes us human; that which grants us the ability to think, we would have to deem a state of absentmindedness, or a black out if you will, equivalent of a state of feralness, where we're reduced to act on the behest of simple instincts; like an animal.

Such an act, one without reason, is an act of purity; it is neither good nor evil. Nevertheless, we instantly deem those who act rampant and savagely evil and those who contribute to charity good, independent of whatever their intentions were. An act of said nature will most always fall in the aforementioned category in the eyes of the beholders, regardless of the circumstances, because we, the beholders, simplify the world we perceive, making it easier to process. What difference is it to us if the man who ripped that purse from the fleeing old lady and ran off was really getting his wife's purse back from the inconspicuous bag-snatcher? We see a man grabbing hold of a purse held by an old lady, hence he is a criminal.

Shallowness is the price we pay for maintaining a world with such a level of complexity as the one we live in. It is simply too much for our mind to handle, so we place what we see in boxes, and we deal with it accordingly. But when we are challenged on this matter, when the picture we put in a box doesn't fit, when it suddenly dawns on us that our preconceived idea was faulty, we wake up.

Being aware of the shallowness of others, one can quite easily create a simple disguise for oneself, something to hide behind, something to keep others from getting at the real you. This that you show, is not who you are, but who you portray yourself as. It takes a lot of guts to live in the now, and act on the behest of one's inner desires at all times, for one will always be prone to the pointy finger of others, and they will point straight at your very self. Personally I have yet to truly know another as I know myself, and I have yet to let another know me as I do. I can't imagine how wonderful it might be to have such a relationship with someone, where nothing is hidden behind disguising gestures and social norms. I find it being one of my dreams for this life of mine, to be able to trust someone with my entire self, even the darker sides usually hidden inside layers of politeness.

Thanks to Luke Chueh for his wonderful and inspirational artwork

I will shine on your parade

There is an overwhelming pressure to be as is expected, and not as a stranger to the surrounding community. We are taught not to show off, to quietly succeed in averageness, and to live together as equals. This is what is great about our society, for we lift those of less fortune up, but this is also what holds back the gifted and the willing, for they are not allowed to shine.

Live as you wish, think big, and your ideas will be fought at every turn, your ideals questioned, your way of life illuminated, so that the world can see where it casts it's shadows, and judge you for your insolence.

One who shines must cast shadow onto others, that is the idea we swear to, might it be subconsciously for most or not. Our ideal is to communally shine, but the idea undermines the ideal, as we so often fail to behold a group as a community rather than a group of individuals. We see not a joint effort to make it, we see personal goals for personal gain, and so we judge their success as a marking of our lack there of.

One who is high on life and shines his light of well being onto others does not cast a single shade. The sun is not the reason for nightfall, and it is not the reason for darkness. The sun does but one thing, and that is to keep it's fire lit. When a gloomy day is getting at you, you don't blame the sun. One who's got a fire in him should not have to guard it from those afraid of the coldness of their own life. The ones doing this shading are the ones doing the blaming. This blame game is getting old, and I'm tired of being made to feel like I owe someone an apology for getting on with my life. We don't owe each other nothing but respect, and last time I checked, that included approval of different ways of life.

Having each other's back, should not include holding each other back.

Luke Chueh - Swarm

Mad as a hatter

Perfection is the language of the mind, once one leaves reality to create. There are no boundaries, only preconceived laws one forces upon ones ideas as they manifest. We do, however, have a tendency to nurture ideas which are altered versions of the reality we perceive, where rules might be tweaked slightly, and everything in between them is exactly as we wish it. Or rather, as we dream it.

I am a dreamer, I fear not admitting it. I let myself travel into the furthest of my mind's reaches to bend reality to perfection. Perfect situations. Perfect conversations. Perfectly imperfect even, if I really feel like making the idea believable to myself. So believable, that I find it slightly too plausible.

Look up Dreamer in the dictionary and you'll

find a picture of this guy.

I find it self-explanatory that ideas have their roots in thoughts, and that most are subconsciously created. I do however believe that it is less self-explanatory, and important to note, that the ones we actively form on the behest of our dreamy thoughts are the ones driving us. These ideas are forces upon us, by ourselves, because they are so immaculately clear to us in the given moment, that we simply cannot refuse their logics, as they are often procured as we experience something of significance, which might alter our vision of the world directly in front of us.

A human is born with a free mind. Free of restrictions, free of direction, free of life as we know it, but not free of living. Living as a human demands one to act through thought, and as one is most often nurtured in a loving home by their ever so loving parents, one will adopt their mindset and way of understanding the world. If one wonders why people fight over religion, land or even honor, one has not understood the power of the ideas of man.

Amazing what one might fool oneself to believe, and then achieve.

We let our ideas control our lives. We blind ourselves by putting blocks in our mind, neglecting that which does not fit within our idea of reality. Whenever we believe, we limit our perception. Man would not be able to see all in the world, even when given omnipotency, because it is not in our nature to see more than two strides beyond the borders of our illusion of reality. The world holds too many impressions for one to grasp, and therefore one will have to delude oneself with simpler ideas of how things are in order to accept them and experience them.

What happens, though, when reality suddenly offers nothing of the expected, and simply slaps you in the face? When the idea you've grown so fond of, which you've fallen in love with, reveals itself to hold a fault too major to ignore, or too many small ones. What then, when you must reassess the validity of your own reality?

I wish I was mad. Mad as a hatter. Mad enough never to doubt my ideas. Mad enough to believe that it is reality there is something wrong with.

It would be perfect. You would be perfect.

You were perfect.

And then I woke up to reality.

Feeding your addiction

One day in the distant future, people will look back at us and frown upon our self-destructive habits.

The very idea of making someone addicted to a poison is malicious, it's unheard of, and yet it's widely accepted and even defended by a vast number of people.

Is it because we thrive in our own weakness? Do we really enjoy being addicted?

To feel the need, the endless cravings, for then to give in to it and enjoy the overwhelming relief that follows. Has it become a necessity for us to have needs we can satisfy? Our body may decay, our aura may turn toxic, yet we don't mind, because we get to satisfy it, our addiction, by giving in to it.

When things aint going your way, Coke will save your day!

Waking up, I was already pissed off from the night before, having been overwhelmed with negativity towards today, by a certain someone, as well as losing all my contacts on my phone, plus there being a bad weather forecast for today. I didn't feel like doing anything. I just sat in my room, doing nothing, nothing at all, for about half an hour. Then I decided I wasn't going to let my day get ruined by somewhat of a social handicap and some rain. After all, I did have ways of contacting those I was going to be with in the not so distant future, and one can always put on a poncho to show the rain who's baws.

Friends should be one's antidote for everything blue in the world. For me, they damn near are, and when they are not, I look elsewhere. Today they were, most likely because I allowed them to and absolutely wanted them to. I walked out the door hoping for a fresh opinion of today, and found a refreshing attitude in my best friend as we met on the train. He and I both know that knowing how to cheer oneself up is the key to cheering other people up, as good mood is very contagious! And having a very good meal with the best of friends is definitely at the very top of my cheering-oneself-up-list. And so we ate. And so there was light. That's right, the sky cleared; the rain finally admitted defeat by the not so very awe-inspiring ponchos. Win.

Theoretical versus practical approach and execution.

There is often a wide gap between knowing what to do, and being able to do it. In general, I'd say we need both the understanding of the task, as well as enough relevant experience in order to execute it properly.

Throughout our childhood we explore the world around us, observe how it works, and then make up our understanding of it. When we try to walk, we learn that falling is both a hurtful and time consuming matter, so we figure out that by balancing, we can move about more efficiently. This basic example can also show how we differ in learning from past experiences. One could understand the reason one was falling, and thus use ones knowledge to figure out alternative ways to approach the matter, finding a solution one could practice and master, in order to stop the falling. The other way to approach this is to simply try and fail, as the muscles gain some experience each time, resulting in one learning what helps and what doesn't.

It's often to see people saying they simply can't. They can't hit the ball, they can't solve the puzzle, they can't jump the rope, they can't make a cake. They simply can't, and never will be able to. I don't believe this at all. I believe it's a cheap way of saying one is either afraid or bored of the task at hand, which leads me to the next factor that plays in. Attitude.

If you're positive towards learning how to climb a tree, you're gonna soak up information and experience like a sponge and be up there in no time. Needless to say, you're gonna be stuck down on the ground forever if you're certain you've no need for this ability to climb trees what so ever.

It does take some getting used to, but it seems to me that being positive to it, and learning new things, in general, turns out to be less energy consuming that being negative to it, and not learning. Not to mention a lot more fun.

What I hate, however, is being able to understand, but still fail to act properly. I've always been good at understanding what to do as well as explaining it to others, even without being able to do it myself. Not understanding is not as annoying, because it makes it easier to leave it be. But when you know how to do it, it tears at you that you still don't manage to.

I realized it's a line one must balance, with equal amount of understanding and experience in doing, to execute new actions correctly, but humans will forever differ in their ability to gain the one or the other. Some prove themselves as excellent thinkers, able to understand, further develop and explain to others the way things work, while some appear to be naturally good at everything they try, without being fully able to explain how they do it.

To me, it seems like choosing to teach rather than to act, is to give up, if one has never been able to master the act itself. It's the easy way out, but then again, it's the easy way out, and that will be forever tempting. I struggle with the thought however, and lean more and more towards giving it just one more try. And another. And another. I can't bear the thought of giving up on something I've already figured out.

I'll probably end up teaching one day anyway.

Why rush there?

Done knew it

http://www.ign.com/videogame-villains/7.html

Scary part is, I've always played as nr 7, in all sports, all my life.

Coincidence? I think not!