Open minded

James Jean - Hive

Being open minded is not innate in me, it is something I have to work on and force out. It is rather natural to behave, act and think in a similar fashion every day, as I have general models to follow in almost any context, and because I'm both familiar with the execution of these models as well as their repercussions. Autopilot is mostly engaged, and I find that trailing along blindly generally leaves me content and filled with a common handful of experiences. But then there is this other ability that is innate; curiosity. Curiosity is one of my most rewarding traits, as it gives me the courage to master challenges, to best my fears and to overcome obstacles. Curiosity has taught me to think positively, as it has time and again proven that there are multiple ways one can go, several right answers to any riddle and a way out of almost any situation. You don't even have to know where to look, you simply have to remember that you can look for an alternative, and it will often present itself.

Curiosity lets me break out of habits and out of my own way of being. Without it, I wouldn't have tried new food, finding flavors I never knew I'd love. I wouldn't have checked out new music, finding genres I never knew could make me dance the way they do. I wouldn't have experimented with a behavioral variety towards new people, finding out how I best enjoy myself and in what company and context I feel serenity, exhilaration, annoyance, carelessness or excitement. Being curious is to me all about discovering new sides to myself and daring to embrace them, if only for a second, to know how it feels and to understand the possibility of this being a natural part of me. Truthfully, you can only have a hunch about whether or not you'll like something until you actually try it. Only then will you know if it is for you or not, and so you don't really have a choice in the matter, other than to go for it and hope for the best. Worst thing that can happen is that you have a bad experience, but even then I find it to be worth it as I can be honest in saying I know that this in particular is not for me, at least not in this given context.

Where it gets complicated is when there are other emotions in the equation, other than the fear of simply not liking the experience at hand. Getting stung on a personal level is probably the biggest qualm for most of us, and I find this to be the toughest bubble to burst with curiosity alone. Exposing a desire to befriend someone or to reveal certain emotions towards a person can be daunting at best, as it is required that the feelings are mutual for them to prosper. This is by far the most exciting form of curiosity; that which is focused on an individual. Simply because nothing ever gets more complex and interesting than the entirety of a person, and you get to discover whether this certain kind of person is a good fit for you, and maybe even understand why or why not. The problem with such curiosity is the fear of losing the opportunity to discover what this person is all about, as an aggressive or even a passive approach could turn people away. How you should go about to sate your curiosity will have to differ based on any number of factors, ranging from your given relationship, your genders, your common network and naturally, both your personalities. And then things get really complicated, seeing as you know very little about each other in the first place, so you have to figure out your possible paths and at the same time decide upon one. Social interaction has never been so challenging as when you've got something to lose.

Compared to any other form of curiosity, the situation changes instantly once another person is added to the equation. I cannot simply decide to discover what this potential relationship will hold for me, without considering the ramifications of my actions on this person's life. And what when this person is linked to me in more ways than one? The network of people connected to the situation is often complex, and so you have more factors weighing in. What if my curiosity leads to the discomfort of others than the two of us? My relationship to a person is always somewhat made up of the network of people surrounding us and our individual relationships to each part of the network. The best example of this that I can think of is probably the most common one as well: your friend's girlfriend or boyfriend is always going to be off limits. You cannot simply let your curiosity dictate your actions, because you should respect the connection both of you have to your friend. Sometimes, however, people do find each other despite these obstacles, but then they often do that at the price of losing something. In this instance, it could lead to the loss of said friend, unless he is a character somewhat out of the ordinary. The point is, the more people that are involved and the more complex their relationships are, the more I got to consider, once I'm feeling curious.

I feel that fear of being inconsiderate is one of the few legitimate reasons for denying one's curiosity, seeing as fear of rejection, failure or injury is personal and most often something you can learn to control. Focusing on letting go of my personal qualms is a good start at least, and working on it I've found that people respond with a different energy once I focus on being open minded. Good energy has surrounded me for several weeks now, and I'm starting to think that we respond with this energy automatically when met with an energy of genuine and unrestrained interest and curiosity. Curiosity will eventually bring out every part of you, thus also the best ones, and it seems it also gives you an aura that brings out the best of everyone around you. Your ability to embrace your possibilities is at least an encouragement for those around you to do the same, or at least to embrace their own curiosity.

If they dare to force it out, I believe their personality will bloom, and that they will find tranquility. My mind is as open as ever, and I'm at least feeling quite tranquil these days.
But maybe that's just me.

Warmth

Inside this head of mine, I tend to reconfigure my view on life every now and again. I mostly do this for a limited time, enabling me to understand that which I'd otherwise be blind to see. Or simply to enhance my own ability to comprehend that which I feel. Finding new ways to explain ideas is helpful in truly understanding them, and I find that a lot of answers can be found by delving within oneself, as well as a lot of questions. Lately I've been finding several questions without apparent answers. I've been wondering where to look, where to direct my intentions, how to act and what to want. Who I want to be and how I want to get there. That would pretty much be the gist of it. And so, finding only questions and none of the related answers, I add a filter, hoping it will reveal the answer I am looking for.

Try to see life as nothing but colors, shades and nuances. Every emotion, every action and everything else can be given a color, a shade, a nuance. Seeing life this way helps you define what is what, how things affects you, how people affect you, what's important to you and what's hurtful. In order to fully appreciate the benefits of seeing the world through such a filter, you must first understand your relationship to colors. Another filter might work better for you, but I myself find colors to be fitting, as I have a conscious relationship to their effects on me, and also because colors, shades and nuances can be related to several deeper meanings. Even so, colors are a lot simpler to interpret and understand than the complete complexities of life.

Tinman's Lament - Dan May

Colors are for me divided between two poles; one warm, one cold. The cold side of the spectre gives you safety in lack of exposure, tranquility in lack of exaltation and serenity in lack of disappointment. The way I see it, living a life filled with cold colors will leave you content, yet unconsciously exasperated. I want warmth, and here's why:

Warm colors give me joy.

Orange is the color of happiness. It's the color of carelessness, fun and foolishness. It is perhaps my favorite color of all, being carefree in it's entirety. Orange is never serious, it is a late night laughing at dark humor carelessly enjoyed in the company of one's closest friends, it is my euphoria. Orange is smiling for the sake of smiling, laughing without constriction and hugging for the sake of holding someone close, not caring what onlookers might think. Orange is what I want everything I feel to be based upon, how I picture my Utopia unfurled.

She Entwined - Audrey Kawasaki

Red is the deepening of Orange. It is intensity, it is lust, it is passion and it is love. Red is not careless, but neither is it careful. Red is rather reckless and hopeless, driving me to excitement and exaltation both, although forever risking the staggering drop into the deep Blue. Red brings me to the very brink of life, overwhelming all other colors. It is by far the least stable of the colors, but also the most rewarding. When I sense Red in others, it warms me to the core, spreading joy and serenity throughout my bones. I think we desperately need to improve our ability to feel and project Red in our lives here in Norway. We're a cold people, not because we lack big hearts, but because they are walled up inside layers of purple and blue; colors that limits us to jealousy, disdain and discomfort. And I don't take kindly to folks who don't take kindly around here.

Chance Meeting Forest Monsters - Andy Kehoe

Earthly colors give me purpose.

They are the deepest of the warm, the ones close to nature. Brown and Burgundy fill me with commitment of different sorts. Brown fills me with homebound affection, reminding me of my roots and that I have a caring family. Brown is my commitment to give others this feeling of safety I myself embrace. Brown is calm and trustworthy, a feeling of companionship and an invitation to familiar bonds beyond hello. Brown is the wellbeing I feel when caring for a friend or a colleague.

Burgundy is an adaptation of Red, one that holds a lot of Brown. Burgundy is safety and compassion in one. Not often do I feel the force of Burgundy protrude, but when I do, it is as overwhelming as the strongest desires I've ever felt. Burgundy can break out tears and fills me with a profound sense of living. Truly acknowledging and accepting someone outside your family takes a lot of trust. It is simply hard to fully open up to someone, and I believe most of us rarely do. Burgundy is the feeling of acceptance. Burgundy is Red without the antagonizing Blue; the intensity and love without fear of rejection or judgement. Burgundy is accepting the fact that I love a friend like my brother, and the realization that I'm not ashamed of admitting it. I guess Burgundy is my favorite color.

I strongly desire a life filled with warmth. The question is how to get out of the cold.