Lose yourself

I've often heard people say things along the lines of "don't lose yourself, man", "you don't have to change just to fit in when you meet new people, that's just being fake", "be yourself" and so on. I have myself watched and judged others as being inconsistent in their persona, finding it quite irritating to be unable to read and predict their behavioral patterns. Lately I've reconsidered the source of my annoyance and figured the fault lied not in my friends, but in myself and my own damned need for control and ability to withhold a solid overview of each and every situation. I doubt I'll be able to let go of these needs, but I have finally realized that everyone does change, all the time. Sometimes it's involuntary as in changing to fit others' needs even if you don't like acting in that particular way, but most of the times people like to act differently amongst different people, because it provokes different reactions and responses which are desirable.

It's not exactly rocket science, but I find it easy to forget that we all have hundreds of different roles in our lives, and that we all enjoy most of them. The reason why I fail to notice them, and thus forget, is because most of the roles are practically identical. I have, obviously, recently rediscovered the phenomenon as I have myself recently been thrown into a new environment with lots of new faces and new personalities to relate to and thus I have of course adapted to fit in as best as I can. The thing to grasp here is that the change was welcome. I really enjoy discovering new sides of myself and the way I'm able to vary my persona, without drifting totally afar from my personal idea of me.

Even that very idea I have of myself is changing. At least somewhat. Bit by bit, almost all of the time. I guess I finally realized one can't get caught up in himself and the way he's supposed to be. We're not static, we do change. And by allowing myself to change, without saying there's anything wrong with the old me, I'm simply embracing the new me, for now.

We all change, most often for the better