What does it mean to be yourself? People always say "Be yourself" when you wonder how to act in certain circumstances. Do I have a predetermined way of being that defines me as a person, a way of being I should follow without fault, lest I risk losing myself? Is there a given pattern for me to follow? One that you all know to be me? If it is so clear to you how I should act, why can't you tell me, rather than going on saying "Be yourself" without elaborating, ever.
Superman In Superman Red Son - Best Comic Ever
You could still be you, yet way different
My guess is you've just as little an idea as me as to how I should act, and so you simply tell me to wing it, disguising it all with a common saying that hints at the fact that my natural way of being should be good enough. The problem is, when I'm with you and everyone else that I know, or any other character that I've learned to know, such as "storeowner", "police officer" or "colleague", I know how to act, or rather, I know how I enjoy acting. I know what responses I'll get in general when I act certain ways. This is the me you all know, because this is the me I know. But you wouldn't know me as the same character that "police officer" knows, and I'll be a different character still to a colleague. I wouldn't think twice about my actions in any of the circumstances, because I'd be acting as the me I know. The difference lies in you, who you are. I project the me that I want you to see, and I hide the rest. This is natural to some extent, and perhaps manipulation once used intentionally, but to me, it is as if I'm telling you the particular part of the truth I believe you would like to hear. The rest of it, especially the parts I believe you to dislike, those I leave unannounced.
Cloud Strife And Zack Fair In Final Fantasy - Best Game Ever
You tell the truths others want to hear, both for your and their sake
The thing is, our personalities are way too complex and broad-spanned to reveal all at once, hence the saying "learning to know one another". We start with the easy stuff, the safe stuff, and then we might pop some of the passionate stuff, unless we think doing so will trigger negative emotions outweighing our positive ones. Normally you wouldn't tell someone you hate football right after they've told you how excited they are to see the match that night, unless you really hate football and really feel it would be degrading of you not to reveal such a distaste. We play it safe and we play it smart, learning to know each other, bit by bit. It takes years to reveal all the bits, and it takes a great deal of interest from the other part to pick them all up and remember where to place them. Nearly nobody will ever reach that level with me, and only a handful of people will ever care enough to figure me out as completely as I have myself. And so, knowing that most people will only remember a certain few big things about me, and make a web of information that's just big enough to remember how to act around me, I focus on the sides of me that will make sure people treat me the way I want to be treated. You might not get to know all of me, but as far as I'm concerned, I'm still being myself, and it is me you're getting to know, the way I see it fit.
Tyler Durden And Himself In Fight Club - Best Movie Ever
Changing personalities like a boss
However, a problem occurs when pressed with a situation where either the character you are playing is unknown to you, or the character you are meeting is. For instance, your first visit to your first girlfriend's house, how to balance your roles as boyfriend and potential son-in-law while avoiding the role of imposer. You probably know the role of boyfriend rather well by now, even how to handle it with friends about. But you've never been a potential son-in-law, and you've never had to juggle that and your boyfriend role while feeling pressure of acting overly imposing. So, how to behave? At this moment, it seems quite stupid telling me to be myself, doesn't it? It's like answering "What should we eat?" with "Food.". That wouldn't really be helpful at all, would it? Rather than telling me to wing it, tell me of your own experience, given that you have any, or at least try to imagine the most likely possibilities with me. Lets figure out the proper play, together. Then you'd be actually helping me out.
And if we don't figure it out, I'll have to live and learn I guess, but at least you've tried to help me out, and I'd appreciate that.
